Tuesday, 22 December 2009

The House Might Be Cold, But I Have A Furry Lap Warmer

It's amazing, my kitten Jinx, who used to be scared of her own shadow, has gotten brave enough to actually sit on my lap. I feel so loved!
It's a little odd (& cold) at home, but I'm getting used to it. Tilly came over yesterday to see me & swap presents with me & Emily. I had to laugh, he & Emily both got each other the new Mighty Boosh Live DVD. I got him a Dr Pepper t-shirt (because that's all he ever drinks & I thought it would make him laugh) & he said it was "epic" which is quite a compliment coming from him. He also get me a top, but Jesus! I swear it's just a bit of net. Admittedly it didn't look so revealing on, but I will only be wearing it whilst clubbing, not out around town (especially not in this whether! The snow is still holding on strong).
Lord, I had to drive in the snow today, for the first time ever. I didn't crash & die, so I must have been doing something right.
I spoke to Adam & we are going around Tilly's with Emily on Wednesday. Me & Emily are going to try & set him up with one of Emily's friends (who is, confusingly, also called Emily). This should be interesting!

Sunday, 20 December 2009

Home Sweet Home

I'm finally home! I really should have been home yesterday, but the snow that fell on Bury (& was destoried by the London smog) made traffic crazy & my Mum couldn't come get me. But I'm here now.
Me & Jonny saw Lauren off yesterday as she got her train to Liverpool & we all had a meal together, which was nice. Then this morning me & Jonny went to Covent Garden to help him find Christmas presents.
I'll miss everyone from London so much. This first term was so amazing I can't wait for next year! But for now I'm home, my kitten Jinx sleeping by my feet & ten ton of ever increasing snow outside. & it feels pretty damn good!

Friday, 18 December 2009


Ok, maybe technically not as Uni wasn't cancelled (I went in & handed in my worked, glad that's done!) but it's finally snowing! I love snow! Me & Jonny made snow angels, I ganged up on him with Lauren & a load of snow balls & convinced Lee to come out & freeze his hands. I felt five again!   
As our it was our last night together in halls till the New Year, me, Jonny & Lauren had Chinese together & Jonny made a lovely speech (for once without taking the piss out of anyone!). It was very sweet.
Lee was also sweet enough to come see me yesterday as I was texting him at 1am Tuesday when I felt like shit & he wanted to cheer me up (it worked). I feel really guilty though as he got me a present, but I didn't think we were going to get each other anything so I didn't get him one. Still, that was so nice of him.
Oh I don't want to leave!
But I can't wait to go home, help Mum make Christmas cakes & hang out with my sister Emily (I feel like I haven't seen her for years!). It's so odd, I feel like I've been in London for ages, but whenever I tell myself that Christmas is only a week away it doesn't sound right.
It's been a great day, & I can't wait to come back & see everyone. But I'm going home! Woo!
I have zero fears or doubts about my life in Uni now. & next year is going to be fucking fantastic!

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

*Think Positive, Think Postive, Think Positive*

It's hard to be positive sometimes. I always knew my ex was a liar, but I found a teddy he gave me ages ago, apparently "especially made for me", & I found where he'd cut off the tag. I guess that just made it real to me. & it hurt. I know I'm only young, but I honestly think that he was my first love. Finding out that he wasn't the person I thought he was, that he lied & probably cheated, just makes me feel so used. It's never fun having your heart broken.
But I must be positive (& stop crying); isn't this what this blog is all about?
I went to Covent Garden again, with Lauren this time. Managed to find a nice (& cheap) red leather skirt, drumstick pencils (don't ask) & another present for my sister, Emily.
I also managed to nearly fucking lose it all by leaving on a cafe floor because I'm so fucking stupid. Luckily it was just sitting where I'd left it & the man who'd taken my seat was nice enough not to steal anything.

& I've insulted & pissed off one of my favourite authors. God, this is not my day.
I'm off to tell Jonny he's going to hell for being gay, call Lauren a dirty thief like everyone else from Liverpool & call Charly a posh stuck up bitch. Just to make the day complete.

Monday, 14 December 2009

A Day Of Work (Ok, A Few Hours Really)

I have no lectures this week *dances* but of course this means I have to find something to do, or go insane with boredom. & being insane is no fun alone.
So today was my day to get most of my Uni work done. Now I'll admit, when it comes to work, I'm one of those people who tend to leave it. Luckily, not quite till the last minute; I've never missed a deadline & I've never had to pull an all nighter. But I do leave it for quite a while, & end up having to kick myself to do it about a week or so before it's due. I'll try & be better in Uni, but really it could be worse.
The really stupid thing is I know my work isn't exactly hard. Hell, I proved that to myself today. I made myself sit down & write it & was done with one in less that 20 minutes. But maybe that's why I do put it off, thinking "oh, it's not that hard, it won't take me that long I can afford to relax now & work later".
But I always feel a bit happier when it done & out of the way with.
This eveing was spent in the kitchen with Jonny, Lauren & Charly watching Charly try to teach Lauren how to wrap Christmas presents. It was very funny. I love hang out with my mates.

Sunday, 13 December 2009

I Feel Like A Winner

For the first time I can remember I've actually won a contest I entered. I never win anything. Yes, it may have only been a prize draw, so no talent involved really, but still, I won!
& I have five lovely brand new books just waiting to be shipped off to me. (Yes, I am also sad enough to get excited about getting free books. But I don't care!)
A couple are by an author called Patricia Briggs. I recently finished reading her first book Moon Called & loved it, & I now will get the first two in her spin off series.
This has made my day, thank you Book Smugglers

Never Try To Shop In London On A Saturday This Near To Christmas!

Not if you want to be able to move properly & see everything. I had a good day though, found my Mum a weird but funky present. Also got myself a beautiful journal from a stall in Covent Gardens & showed Lee Camden, helping him get his sister a present. It was good to spend the day with someone I can talk so easily to, & finally have someone I can talk to about history! (& by history I mean talk about how Britain didn't need the USA to win WWII, coming up better tactics for Nazi German that would helped them not lose the war & agree how scary Russia really is.)
After shopping, I was finally able put down my heavy bags & hang out with Jonny & Lauren who were watching the X Factor finals (woo, not), chatting & watching Jonny do stupid dances (as usual).
Good times ^-^

Friday, 11 December 2009

Two Very Lazy Days

Not a lot has really happened today or yesterday. Spent most of it sleeping to be honest. But anyway:
  • sleep is always good
  • some guy wolf whisled me when I was walking back from Tesco (O.O)
  • I have a stalker on here (hi Mum)
At least this weekend I'll be busy; shopping in Central & back to Winter Wonderland fair in Hyde Park. Hooray!

Thursday, 10 December 2009

A Very Big Smile

I've just gotten back from a huge winter/Christmas fair in Hyde Park, which was Oh My God amazing! I loved it so much. It was a German fair so all the signs were German, the stalls were made out of wood & looked like those little wooden homes you see pictures of in snow covered forests somewhere like Canada. They had sweets, rides, beer, bars, wooden ties, giant prezels & much more I didn't get the chance to see as it was so big (I was with Richard & others who headed straight for the bar, surprise surprise). I went on one of those rides which is basically a huge tower with seats around it that lifts you up & drops you. I was apparently the tallest in the world & I got the best view of London I've had so far whilst riding it. My throat felt a bit raw after from screaming (in delight, not fear), & me & Richard couldn't stop laughing about it. Sadly, I didn't have time to buy a big bag of pick & mix sweets, which is all the more reason to go again! Which I will be, this Sunday. Woop woop!
Anyway, other good things that happened to me today:
I handed in some draft work of a website we have to make to one of my teachers who said other that a little tidying up around the edges, it was great & could actually hand it in as it is & get a good grade (but I'll tidy it anyway, for an even better one), & that I'm ahead of most others in my class.
Also, whilst waiting for the crappy shuttle bus to get from Uni to Oakwood tube station, my friend James from Halls came up to me & offered to give me a lift down there since he was going in that direction (which I took). What a little sweetheart!
& finally, I got a very funny Christmas card from my Mum in the post with a picture of a cat hung up as a decoration with faerie wings. She put inside that she was thinking of trying that with our three cats. Now that I'd like a picture of!

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Lazy Day

  I was feeling a bit funny today, but I got to stay in bed & read a good book all day (Moon Called by Patrica Briggs) so that made me happy. My seminar was cancelled anyway, so it's all good.
  I'm also going into Central with Lee on Saturday to do some Christmas shopping.
  I'm concidering going to Download (a metal & rock music festival) next summer, & my friend Tilly who's gone quite a few times before kindly offered to help me sort out prices, packing & other stuff, & said I could camp with him. He is a sweetheart.

Monday, 7 December 2009

He Might Be An Idiot For Hurting Himself, But A Least He's Alive

About a week/week & a half ago, my stupid friend Lee managed to trap a nerve in his leg over a £4 bet (seriously man, £4?! You should a least held out for a tenner). This weekend he went to pick up the results for an x-ray he had on his hip & they said he's fine, which is always good.
In other news: as sad as it may sound, I always feel a little happier when I've finished/made good progress to any work I need to do, & today I've almost finished (just need a conclusion now). Once that's done I can do my more interesting assessment work, like a news article on a theft that happened in my halls the other week (luckily not my flat). I have to laugh though; I'm writing about a theft, my friend Richard on my course (also living in my halls) is writing about a fire that happened here, what on earth is our marker going to think about this place?! All we need now here is a rape & a murder. (I'll be staying indoors for a while, just so you know.)

Sunday, 6 December 2009

I Have Found The Best Club In London!

  Me & my friend Lee went to a club in Camden called The Electric Ballrom Friday night/Saturday morning & I think I've fallen in love. I am definately going back there as soon as I can. (So many hot goth boys!...*drools*)
  Now I know that this next thing shouldn't make me smile, & makes me sound like a mean bitch, but it was his own fault to begin with: I also found out that not long ago my arse of ex-boyfriend managed to run over his own foot with his motorbike (which, I might add, he never bothered to have lessons for, insisting he could "figure it all out" himself, just because he didn't want/couldn't afford to pay for them). But his roommate/a very close friend of mine told me that my ex can't work properly with a broken foot, so can't keep up with his rent, bills, ect, is in a fair bit of debt anyway so now is moving back in with his parents. So Mr. "I Can Handle The Real World, Just Watch Me" couldn't even last a year on his own. My God how I laughed. I couldn't help thinking "what a loser!" & was glad this happened after we had broken up. I mean, how fucking stupid do you have to be to run yourself over?!
  I would however like to say that I only find this so funny because it was completely his own fault. Had someone else run over his foot, or it was a different or more serious accident, I honestly would have felt sorry for him (or at least sorrier). But I can't help; he broke my heart not too long ago & it's nice to see him in a bit of pain too, even if it's physical & not emotional. I also find it funny as I always knew, even when I was in love with him, that he was arrogant. This just goes to show that nature (or karma, or whatever you want to call it) doesn't like arrogance, especially when you're only 18 & think the world owes something to you greatness & all you've done in life (like fail all your exams & get kicked out of school/6th form).
  Well done Alex, & thank you for making my day.

Thursday, 3 December 2009

Ben & Jerry's Will Always Put A Smile On My Face

Especially when it's on special, as I'm a student I shouldn't be able to afford it now. Good things today:
  • hanging out in Wether Spoons (a pub) with a load of friends, a couple I hadn't seen in a while.
  • a nice, long, hot shower
  • author Melissa Marr replied to a post I'd made on the Book Smuggler's site (she's luck it was on the web or I'd have probably clung to her declaring my love for her work & had to be priced off by police. Not good for my dignety!)

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

I May Have Been Caught In The Rain (Again!) But...

  • I got to talk to Lee & I hadn't seen him for a while
  • We may be going to a goth club called the Electric Ballroom in Camden this Friday (not that either of us are reallu that gothic (though I can be at times), but it'll be a club that actually plays music I like! *shock horror!*)
  • I'm ahead with my work for one of my modules (hooray!)
  • Me, Lauren & Charlie had a nice long chat over dinner & home-made hot chocolate (which was simply milk, melted chocolate & bailey's)

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

My Mum's Christmas Rules Begin Today

  Well, this smile is technically from a couple of days ago, but I was only allowed to open it today. My mum sent me an advent calender card since I wasn't planning to buy one myself & she thought I needed one. Thanks mum!
  She also wants me to watch The Muppet's Christmas Carrol today as it's her christmas tradition, but I'm not sure if that will make me smile or make me feel home sick. 

Edit: I did watch in the end, & it did make me smile. Hooray!

Monday, 30 November 2009

My 1st Smiles

So, the first things to make me smile today. I haven't really done much today, & I may add some stuff as the day's not exactly over, but here goes:
1. Chatting to my friend Adam from back home at stupid o'clock in the morning because I was feeling lonely & he offered to cheer me up (it worked too)
2. Finding a Steampunk band on myspace (honestly, I'd never heard of a steampunk band before! The Deadly Nightshade Botanical Society are pretty damn good)
3. Coming out of the wind & rain into a nice hot room

About Clockwork Smile

This blog, like many other's I'm sure, is all about being positive & happy with life.
I'm an 18 year old Uni student, whose been living on her own for the first time in her life in London, since late September. Living here has been a huge change; I've become far more sociable, made some really great friends & am honestly having a great time, despite all worries & expectations (all my own).
To be honest, I've spent the last 18 years going through life pretty miserable. I've never been completely happy with myself, have always suffered from sever lack of confidence, been bullied a lot at school (cursed with red hair) & have lived as a bit of a social reject. I'm perfectly aware that, apart from the bullying, all those things are problems I have created myself. But the simple fact was I wasn't happy. Even when I thought I was, with family, friends or boyfriends, there was always something else wrong, something else causing me to be unhappy or worry about in the back of my mind. I realise now I was mostly just going through the motions of life; continuing high school with the same school's 6th form because I didn't know what else to do; staying with an ex after we had clearly died because I didn't want to be alone with myself, needing to feel that someone liked me because to be honest I barley liked myself. To be honest, I don't know why, but I've always been like that. Even planning for University I just went along with what the rest of my 6th form friends were doing. I was planning just to study English Lit or History since I already studied them. Then one day when I confessed to my Mum that I wasn't really sure what I should do, she suggested I go see the school's Connexions adviser. It was only on the off chance that when I was talking to the woman there that I mentioned I'm a big book worm, & would love to make a living off reading or editing books. & then we found my subject: publishing.
So here I am now studying Journalism & Publishing at Middlesex Uni in London.
But what really struck me was when I visited home about two weeks ago. My Grandparents stopped by briefly & after they left my Mum said to me that she'd asked my Grandad if he thought I'd changed. & my Grandad said "Yes, completely, she seems so much happier now".
& that's when I realised he was right; for the first time I can remember I am happy with my life & myself. Sure, I might get home sick occasionally & I still find it odd that I'm now single after spending the last three years in a relationship with someone, but no life is completely perfect. At least not in only two & a half months. I am happy & that's all that really matters.
So, to keep up with my new happier attitude towards life, I've decided to start this blog & post at least one thing per day that has made me smile. Hopefully there will be more than one, & I will try my hardest to keep this blog positive, even if something upsetting has happened to me. (I'll admit that I slightly copied/stolen the idea of a blog from a friend, but I'm sure he'll forgive me! *fingers crossed*)
Now, let's see how long I can keep this thing running!

NOTE: As you may have noticed, from the name, ect, I've recently become a huge fan of steampunk, mostly books & jewellery. I keep meaning to design some of my own jewellery, but, well, I'm sure I'll get around to it someday.